Jenny

Dear Self,

Before coming into this trip you had just finished my freshmen year and summer quarter. Studying abroad? This trip would be your first. Did you know anyone prior to this trip? Only one person.

The nervousness and excitement all came to you slowly and all at once. Your main goal / purpose of this trip was to gain more leadership insight as well as learning more about your own culture. To say you only accomplished that is an understatement. You gained so much more than that. You gained new friendships, new knowledge, and so many new perspectives.

Over the course of two weeks, you did more than you thought you could. You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone more than you expected. Looking back, the reason why you had such a good time was because you were able to be so daring and present during the trip.

There were many times where your cultural identity was questioned. "So your parents are from Vietnam? You're Vietnamese? Do you speak Vietnamese?" Though you have had to explain yourself your whole life, it really was eye opening to be a Chinese American (who's family grew up in Vietnamese culture but speaks Cantonese at home) in China. Hearing all your Chinese peers speak such excellent Mandarin made you question your cultural identity even more. Why are you incompetent in Mandarin when you took it as a kid and in high school? These questions flooded your mind all throughout the trip. However seeing non-Chinese peers wonder in confusion when they hear Mandarin made you realize that it's okay to not be a proficient Mandarin speaker. You still understand a decent amount and not being able to speak it is just your motivation to continue learning Mandarin.

Despite questioning your cultural identity, you are definitely aware of your leadership identity. You know you are a leader of yourself because you take initiative for yourself. You may not be certain about what direction your life wants to go but you are certain about how you don't want it to go. You know how to listen to others and compromise. You know how to be adaptive and keep an open mind. You know that leadership is a complex concept but that you're always willing to learn more about it.

Overall, you have grown in many new ways and forms over the past two weeks. You were able to create memories and friendships that will last a lifetime as well as challenge many perspectives and fears. Applaud yourself for your accomplishment and ability to stay safe and healthy through it all.

Sincerely,

Jenny